It's as simple as this, folks: There are basically two games worth watching this weekend.

There is Alabama-LSU in the latest edition of The Saban Bowl.

And then there is Penn State-Ohio State is the latest edition of The Big Ten Border War.

The Saban Bowl winner will seize control of the SEC West and likely punch their ticket to the SEC Championship Game against Florida. The winner of the Penn State-Ohio State will remain on track for a BCS bid--and a possible share of the Big Ten title.

Two huge games. Four storied programs. Four championship-caliber coaches. A couple Heisman-worthy offensive stars. Vicious defenses. Bryant-Denny. Beaver Stadium.

November college football at its best.

Can't wait, folks.

Just can't wait.

Here are my picks for those two huge showdowns--and one other game, as well.

No. 9 LSU at No. 3 Alabama (3:30 p.m.): There's an awful lot of hype around this one. Which is just great. It's been a fun week down in SEC country, I'm sure. Just one problem: LSU has no chance to win. In fact, I'd be surprised if they even keep it close. Tide tailback Mark Ingram has faced defenses tougher than LSU's (Virginia Tech, Tennessee) and fared pretty well. Expect him to get 20-plus carries in this one. On the other side of the ball, 'Bama's ridiculously talented defense figures to shut down an LSU offense that, despite some recent success (you know, like, against Tulane) is still a work in progress. Nick Saban wins his namesake game and keeps the Tide on track for a national title. Alabama 27, LSU 10

No. 16 Ohio State at No. 11 Penn State (3:30 p.m.): I'll give you three reasons why Penn State wins this one, folks. 1. Daryll Clark is less likely to throw the game away, and more likely to take the game over, than Terrelle Pryor. 2. Ohio State is without starting kicker Aaron Pettrey. 3. Penn State linebackers Sean Lee and Navorro Bowman are finally healthy. There you go. In a slugfest, the Nits come out on top. Penn State 24, Ohio State 19

Florida State at Clemson (7:45 p.m.): Two of the nation's most confounding teams meet for a suddenly important ACC clash. The season-long drama continued in Tallahassee this week, as longtime defensive coordinator Mickey Andrews announced he would retire at season's end (and coach Bobby Bowden announced that he, not coach-in-waiting Jimbo Fisher, would make the final call on Andrews' replacement). As for Clemson? Well, they're accustomed to drama. I mean, come on, it's Clemson. C.J. Spiller is allegedly a darkhorse Heisman candidate. If he wants to remain a Heisman candidate, he better show up big this week. I think he will. Clemson 37, Florida State 24

Photo: Can Les Miles and LSU upset Alabama? Answer: No. (Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

Well, this is just horrible.

Ohio State--one of the most storied programs in all of college football--will ditch decades of tradition and wear utterly ridiculous "alternate" uniforms when they take on Michigan later this month.

As someone who grew up in Ohio, and as someone who believes rather strongly that you shouldn't mess with great uniforms, this announcement makes me, well, unhappy. Ohio State has some of the greatest unis in sports. So why mess with them?

Well, apparently, because Nike asked them to.

In a statement, Ohio State Athletic Director Gene Smith said the following: "During spring, 2009, Ohio State was invited by Nike to participate in its Rivalry uniform program with several other universities from around the nation. They offered us a chance to try a new uniform product featuring cutting-edge fabrics and technology; participation in the program also offered us a one-time opportunity to salute one of those great championship teams that have built the Ohio State football tradition. ...

"For this special program, we chose to recognize the achievements of our undefeated 1954 national championship team, winning the Big Ten title outright before capturing a Rose Bowl victory. These great Buckeyes celebrated their 55th anniversary with us at the Minnesota game, and this is another way for us to pay homage to their stellar achievements. ...

"Again, this is a one-time opportunity to honor a great championship team. We have no plans to make any changes to the traditional Buckeye uniform for the foreseeable future."

Oh, whatever, Gene.

You've already sold out. Just admit it.

Ohio State: It's the new Oregon.

Photo: Ohio State will not wear its actual uniforms when it takes on Michigan later this year. Great idea. (Jamie Sabau/Getty Images)

When No. 16 Ohio State heads to Happy Valley this weekend for a crucial Big Ten showdown against No. 11 Penn State, the Buckeyes will be without one of their most valuable, if least heralded, scoring threats.

Placekicker Aaron Pettrey suffered a torn MCL in the Buckeyes' 45-0 win over New Mexico State (yawn) last weekend, and will likely miss the remainder of the season--including, of course, this week's key contest against the Nittany Lions. Pettrey suffered the injury while running down the field on kick coverage.

This is a potentially big loss for the Buckeyes and comes at just about the worst possible time. Besides, when these teams met in Columbus last season, it was a true defensive slugfest, with the Nittany Lions squeaking by, 13-6. This year's matchup figures to be just as low-scoring--the Buckeyes and Nits boast two of the best defenses in the country--and so the kicking game will be crucial.

Without Pettrey, the Buckeyes will likely turn to backup Devin Barclay, who converted just 1 of 3 field goals last week. Pettery had been 13 of 17 on the year, including 6 of 8 from beyond 40 yards.

Oh, in case you're wondering: Penn State kicker Collin Wagner is 10 for 14 on the year, and 34 for 34 on extra-point attempts.

Photo: Ohio State kicker Aaron Petrrey is out for the season with a torn MCL. (Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

OK, I admit it: Florida is better than I thought.

And Georgia? Well, they're really, really bad (more on that in just a bit).

I've been critical of Florida pretty much all season--critical of their offense, critical of those close calls against weak competition, critical even of Tim Tebow--so it's only fair that I give the Gators credit for their fine performance in yesterday's 41-17 win over the Bulldogs. Simply put, Florida finally looked like Florida again.

The Gators racked up 374 total yards behind a Heisman-worthy performance from Tebow, who played his best game of the year. The senior completed 15 of 21 passes for 164 yards and two touchdowns. He also carried the ball 15 times for 85 yards and two more touchdowns.

But this win wasn't just about Tebow. The Gators were great across the board. They were solid on offense. They were solid on defense. They played with confidence.

For the first time in weeks, this team actually looked like the No. 1 team in the country.

What's it all mean? Well, first it means that Florida has locked up a spot in the SEC Championship Game.

But it also means the Gators are back. They're back in a big way.

Here are my other thoughts on college football's Week 9.

1. Georgia is not very good. In fact, they're pretty bad. And I'm totally befuddled as to how this happened so quickly. Remember, folks, we're just one year removed from Georgia being talked about as a national title contender. And now? Well, the Dawgs are playing like one of the worst teams in the SEC. The defense can't stop anybody. The offense, outside of wideout A.J. Green, is utterly lifeless. The entire team is undisciplined. But the biggest problem is this: There's just not enough talent there. Mark Richt has been one of the most prolific recruiters in the country of late, so if you believe the "recruiting rankings" (a crapshoot at best), Richt should have talent all over the roster. But he doesn't. Which raises some questions. Are Richt and his staff not evaluating recruits properly? Are talented players not being coached up? Or are there some deeper issues with this program? Richt needs to find some answers, and quick. Because if Urban Meyer and Lane Kiffin smell blood in the water, you can bet they're going to strike.

2. Changing uniforms is a goofy gimmick, not a motivational tactic. So cut it out, already. Georgia took the field yesterday wearing black helmets. They looked like Grambling out there, folks. Apparently the black duds were supposed to "inspire" the Dawgs to victory. As we know, things didn't quite work out that way. Meanwhile, up at Tennessee, the Vols showed up for their game against South Carolina wearing black jerseys. The Vols won easy, but still looked ridiculous. Hey, I've got a crazy idea: How about everyone just keep wearing, you know, your actual uniforms? You're never going to replicate the Notre Dame green-jersey thing. You're just not. So don't try.

3. I told you USC wasn't that good. In recent weeks I had been growing increasingly frustrated with the way USC was being treated by the pollsters. Even though the Trojans had a loss (and a bad loss, at that), the voters kept placing them up in the Top 5--ahead of teams that were, you know, still undefeated. But I wasn't fooled, folks. I knew this team had flaws. And how did I know this? Well, because they lost to Washington. Anyway, other folks weren't quite as perceptive, and so USC kept hanging around the Top 5. But I think now, finally, the nation knows the Trojans were overrated all along. The Oregon Ducks absolutely blew the doors off USC up in Eugene yesterday, exposing the USC defense as a total fraud in a 47-20 win. The Ducks racked up 613 total yards--yes, 613!--and handed USC its worst loss in more than a decade. Oregon is officially the team to beat in the Pac-10. And USC is officially out of the national title discussion. Not that they deserved to be in it in the first place.

4. Iowa has been good most of this season. Against Indiana, they were lucky. I have never seen a game change so dramatically--and so quickly--as this one. For three quarters, Indiana was absolutely dominating the Hawkeyes. The Hoosiers were moving the ball at will. They were stifling on defense. They had this thing won: Up 24-14 at the start of the fourth quarter, Indiana looked completely in control. Then came the fourth quarter. Long story short, Iowa made some big plays, Indiana made a ton of mistakes, and in the blink of an eye, Iowa had won, 42-24. But don't let that score fool you. Iowa looked bad in this one. Really bad.

Photo: Tim Tebow and the Gators finally played like the No. 1 team in the country in a big win over Georgia. (Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

OK, let's review.

Oregon is 6-1. The Ducks' only loss came against an undefeated, highly respected Boise State team.

USC is also 6-1. But the Trojans' loss came to against ... a 3-5 Washington team.

Oregon just played Washington. On the road. The result? Oregon 43, Washington 19.

So here's a question, folks: Why on earth is USC ranked so much higher than the Ducks in both human polls? Answer: The pollsters either aren't very smart, or they're allergic to facts (and don't even get me started on Iowa's ridiculously low ranking).

Anyway, yes, I do think Oregon is better than USC. I mean, they've certainly looked better.

But they can actually beat the Trojans this week? Well, find out here, as I present my picks for college football's Week 9:

No. 8 Cincinnati at Syracuse (noon): I'm not saying the Orange can beat the Bearcats. But I am saying they'll keep it (as Lee Corso might say) "closer than the experts think." And, yes, you know what I'm referring to. Cincinnati 27, Syracuse 21

Central Michigan at Boston College (3:30): Central Michigan has been hanging around the "Others Receiving Votes" category for weeks now, but just can't seem to break into either the USA Today Coaches Poll or Associated Press Top 25 (for the record, the Chippewas are ranked No. 25 in the esteemed About.com Top 25). Well, here's their big chance. Boston College isn't a great team, but they're a "name" team. If Dan LeFevour can deliver a big-time performance and guide his team to an impressive win, the one-loss Chippewas will almost certainly (and finally) find themselves in the rankings. Central Michigan 28, Boston College 17

Georgia vs. No. 1 Florida (3:30): The most tempting upset pick of the week. Here's how I'm looking at this one: We know that Florida isn't nearly as good this year as they were last year; unfortunately, we also know that Georgia isn't nearly as good this year as they were last year. The only unit in the SEC has been less impressive than the Florida offense (sorry, SEC backers, it's pitiful) has been the Georgia defense, which seems incapable of stopping anybody (even Tennessee; that's bad). The Dawgs' only hope? A career day for quarterback Joe Cox and an out-of-character performance by that struggling defense. Do you believe in miracles? I don't. Florida 27, Georgia 17

No. 3 Texas at No. 14 Oklahoma State (8 p.m.): Oklahoma State would have had a great shot at winning this one if they had Dez Bryant lined up at wideout. Unfortunately, the NCAA robbed the Cowboys of their best player for no good reason. Great job, NCAA. Texas 31, Oklahoma State 23

No. 5 USC at No. 10 Oregon (8 p.m.): Matt Barkley didn't seem fazed by the crowd at Ohio Stadium back in September. So, all due respect to the folks up in Oregon, Barkley isn't likely to be intimidated by Autzen Stadium, either. In fact, I expect the freshman to play quite well in this one. As for the Trojans' defense? Well, I'm not so sure. The Ducks have found their stride on offense and the Trojans seem lost on defense; even superstar safety Taylor Mays doesn't look like himself of late. Jeremiah Masoli and the high-flying Ducks put on a show and finally kick the Trojans out of the Top 5 (they don't belong there, anyway). Oregon 38, USC 28

Photo: Can Chip Kelly and Oregon knock off USC? ((Steve Dykes/Getty Images)

It's open season on officials in the SEC.

Despite commissioner Mike Slive's best efforts to stamp out a recent wave of criticism of his officials, SEC coaches just keep piling the poor guys in stripes.

The most recent to jump on the anti-official bandwagon is Tennessee assistant coach and former Ole Miss coach Ed Orgeron, who on Monday  accused SEC officials of favoring big-name teams (see: Florida, Alabama).

The comments came two days after Tennessee lost a 12-10 heartbreaker to Alabama--a game that saw several key calls go against the Vols.

Said Orgeron: "Seems like some people get the calls and some people don't. I've been in this league and I've been a part of that. Whether that's true or not, you can never prove that. ... I do know this: there were some very questionable calls in that game that could have went either way and they went Alabama's side. There were very questionable calls throughout the season and it seems they go for the better team."

Orgeron's accusations came on the exact same day that his boss, Vols head coach Lane Kiffin, was reprimanded by the league for his criticism of the officiating in the 'Bama game.

Kiffin and Orgeron are hardly alone, though. It's certainly not been a banner year for the league's refs. Questionable or flat-out bad calls have marred several important SEC games already his season, including Georgia-LSU, Florida-Arkansas and Florida-Mississippi State.

Of course, bad calls happen every year, and in every league.

What makes this SEC situation so interesting, though, is the fact that the league's coaches have been so vocal, and so public, in their criticism. I mean, these guys are teeing off on the refs right now--and Slive seems incapable of quieting them.

It's a potentially messy situation that will only get messier unless Slive steps in soon.

If the commish really wants the criticism to stop, he's got to levy a heavy punishment--a one-game suspension, possibly--on the next coach who steps out of line.

Otherwise, these coaches are just going to keep on chirping. And the league's refs are going to continue living under siege.

Photo: Was the Alabama-Tennessee game marred by bad officiating? (Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Ricky Stanzi did it again.

And the Iowa Hawkeyes are still undefeated.

For three-and-a-half quarters, Michigan State and Iowa slugged it out in a truly old-school Big Ten football war. It was a battle of field position--and field goals.

Then came the fourth quarter, and the slugfest turned into a shootout. After combining for just nine points in the first three quarters, the teams combined for 19 in the fourth. And none were more dramatic than the final six posted by Iowa--six points that came courtesy of the unflappable Stanzi.

When Blair White's 30-yard touchdown catch gave the Spartans a 13-9 lead with just 1:37 to play, it seemed as though Iowa's dream season was about to come to an end. That's when Stanzi took over, leading his Hawkeyes on a 70-yard, game-winning drive capped by a fourth-down, 7-yard touchdown pass to Marvin McNutt. Stanzi's throw? Well, it was perfect. Final score: Iowa 15, Michigan State 13.

The Hawkeyes are now 8-0 for the first time in school history and, dating back to last year, have won 12 straight games.

So I have to wonder: Will this team finally start getting the respect it deserves from the voters? Will those voters start realizing that this undefeated Iowa team is better than one-loss USC?

Well, I am guessing not. Because the voters aren't very smart.

Here are my other thoughts on college football's Week 8:

1. Iowa wasn't the only undefeated big-conference team that had a battle on its hands Saturday. Alabama, which has been the nation's most consistently dominating team, hardly looked dominant in a 12-10 win over Tennessee. 'Bama needed two blocked two field goals from Terrence Cody to secure this win--even though they were playing at home, and even though Tennessee isn't very good. Florida, meanwhile, continued its string of unimpressive performances with a closer-than-the-score-would-indicate 29-19 win over lowly Mississippi State. Tim Tebow, who is allegedly the Heisman Trophy frontrunner (according to ESPN, at least), completed 12 of 22 passes for just 127 yards. He had two interceptions returned for touchdown. Yeah, Florida is undefeated. So yeah, they should be ranked in the Top 5. But No. 2? No way. What have they done to deserve it? What have they done that Iowa hasn't?

2. Pitt is legit. I actually picked the Panthers to lose to South Florida. Not because I thought the Bulls were the better team. But rather because I didn't trust the Panthers to be able to handle their newfound success. There is a touch of Clemson to the Pitt program; just when you think they're about to the turn the corner, they find a way to blow it (for instance, last season's stunning 54-34 home loss to Rutgers). But after seeing Pitt cruise to a 41-14 win over a good South Florida team, well, I'm sold on the 2009 Panthers. Freshman tailback Dion Lewis had another big day (23 carries, 111 yards, two touchdowns) and the Pitt defense limited South Florida to just 212 total yards. This is the best Pitt team in years. And it might be the best team in the Big East.

3. Penn State finally beat Michigan in Ann Arbor. Heading into Saturday's matchup at Michigan, the Nittany Lions had not won a game in the Big House since 1996--yes, 1996--and had in recent years found truly spectacular ways to lose there (see: 2005). The Big House, simply, had been Penn State's House of Horrors. Well, no more: Daryll Clark threw for 230 yards and four touchdowns as the Nits rolled, 35-10. Penn State's No. 2-ranked defense was stifling, limiting Michigan to just 250 yards on the day, and has given up just one touchdown in its last three games.

Photo: Ricky Stanzi came through in the clutch for Iowa. Again. (Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

I'll be honest here, folks: College football's Week 8 isn't looking very exciting.

One week removed from one of the most entertaining Saturdays of the season (Oklahoma-Texas, USC-Notre Dame, etc.) we are now headed for what looks like one of the dullest. And since there really aren't any marquee matchups on the slate--with the notable exception, of course, of TCU-BYU on Saturday night--it would be easy to assume that we're in for a long day of ho-hum blowouts and predictable results.

But, hey, this is college football.

And as we learned once again last week (Ohio State-Purdue ring a bell?) you never really know what to expect on a college football Saturday.

Here are my picks for college football's Week 8:

No. 12 Georgia Tech at Virginia: Some so-called experts are calling this one a "trap game" for the Jackets. And truth be told, Virginia has been playing a whole lot better of late; after an atrocious start, Al Groh (he's still there?) and the Cavaliers have reeled off three straight wins. What does that mean for Saturday's showdown with the Jackets? Well, nothing. Because I don't care how much momentum Virginia has, there's no way they're going to stop that Georgia Tech running game. Triple option, folks! Georgia Tech 41, Virginia 27

South Florida at No. 20 Pittsburgh: Pitt is playing awfully well of late. South Florida just got stomped by Cincinnati at home. That being said ... upset alert, Panther fans. Freshman tailback Dion Lewis has been sensational, but he's about to face maybe the toughest defense he'll see all year. These are the kind of games that Pitt loses. South Florida 28, Pitt 21

No. 6 Iowa at Michigan State: Last week I predicted in this very space that the Hawkeyes' dream season would come to an end up in Madison. And when Wisconsin stormed out to a 10-0 lead, I was feeling pretty good about that prediction. Then Iowa reeled off 20 unanswered points to earn a tough road win, 20-10. It's time we stop underestimating these guys, folks. Iowa is legit. And yeah, I'm talking to you, voters. Iowa 24, Michigan State 17

No. 3 Texas at Missouri: OK, let's be honest here. Texas is not playing like the No. 3 team in the country. They're just not. Sure, they earned a win over Oklahoma last week in The Ugliest Game Ever. But I don't buy this Texas offense. I don't buy a Colt McCoy who suddenly can't (or won't) run the ball. I don't buy a team that can't hold on to the ball. The 'Horns are going to lose eventually. Why not this week? Missouri 27, Texas 24

Photo: Will sloppy play and a sluggish offense finally cost Texas this week in Columbia? (Getty Images)

College football mascots can get a way with quite a bit.

But there's one thing mascots apparently can't do: Mock religion.

That's the lesson Minnesota's mascot, Goldy Gopher, learned this week after a YouTube video surfaced of him mocking prayerful Penn State defensive end Jerome Hayes in Happy Valley.

The video shows Hayes jogging onto the field before his team's 20-0 win last week over the Gophers, then kneeling down in the end zone for his traditional pre-game prayer. Goldy, apparently not thinking straight, knelt in front Hayes, mimicking his every move. When Hayes got up, Goldy tried to shake his hand.

Hayes wasn't interested. Goldy then got a high-five from a Gopher cheerleader.

"Before every game, I go and pray in the corner of the end zone," Hayes explained this week. "When I got up, I didn't hear what he said, but he tried to shake my hand. But I wasn't trying to have any part of that, believe me, so I just walked away."

Once the video hit YouTube, it quickly caused a stir among Penn State fans--and, apparently, some religious groups, as well. Some began complaining to Minnesota officials. And by Thursday, the University had offered its official apology.

"On behalf of Goldy and the University of Minnesota, I want to apologize to the Penn State player involved and anyone else who may have taken offense from this incident," Minnesota spokesman Dan Wolter said in a statement. "We have reiterated to Goldy the importance of exercising appropriate religious sensitivity in the future."

Oh, for the record: Goldy was not suspended.

Photo: Goldy Gopher crossed the line last week at Penn State. (Brian Bahr/Getty Images)

How desperate is Ron Zook?

Well, this desperate: He's considering benching starting quarterback Juice Williams for the second time this season--and replacing him with third-stringer Jacob Charest.

With the Illini struggling along at 1-5 (including an 0-4 mark in the Big Ten) after an embarrassing 27-14 loss to Indiana last week, Zook knows the clock is ticking on his tenure in Champaign. So he's apparently willing to do anything to get that ugly Illinois offense moving.

He's already tried benching Wiliams in favor of backup Eddie McGee. But that didn't work out, and last week, Williams was back in the lineup against the Hooisers. Unfortunately, that didn't work, either: Williams did throw for 258 yards and two touchdowns on the day, but also had two crucial fumbles.

It's plain as day: This kid's confidence is shot, and he simply cannot lead the Illini offense right now.

Which is why Zook now says he'll consider Plan C: That would be Charest, a redshirt freshman who has (allegedly) been impressive in practice.

Honestly, I don't think Zook is just blowing smoke here. I think it's truly a possibility that Charest--a guy who wasn't even on the radar back in August--gets the start this Saturday against Purdue.

But here's the thing: It doesn't matter.

This Illinois team gave up after that Week 1 loss to Missouri. And no matter who plays quarterback now, the results will be the same: No offensive production. No passion. And no wins.

Photo: Juice Williams my get benched for the second time this season. (Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)